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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24615661">an ode to personal space</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillwalk500miles/pseuds/iwillwalk500miles'>iwillwalk500miles</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Genesis' White Rose Week Prompts for 2020!! [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>RWBY</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It's Not Exactly Angst, Non-Sexual Intimacy, POV Third Person Omniscient, Pre-Relationship, Vulnerability, White Rose Week 2020 (RWBY), but it is very emotional, grammar? i don't know her, it's almost poetry but not exactly, they're in love but i use the word friendship a lot, this should just be titled 'in which genesis abuses the english language'</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:48:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24615661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillwalk500miles/pseuds/iwillwalk500miles</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>(White Rose Week 2020: nap time/cuddles)</p>
<p>Neither of them are particularly good at physical touch. It’s not exactly a bad thing, per say, Weiss with her cold cold childhood and Ruby with her panicked panicked mind—but it <em>can</em> get in the way of things. </p>
<p>Weiss deems these things unimportant, because of course she does.</p>
<p>Ruby, on the other hand, thinks these things are Very Important—capitalized even in her mind.</p>
<p>Or;</p>
<p>Ruby and Weiss are bad at physical contact. At the end of the day they're still bad at it, but at least they're bad together.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ruby Rose/Weiss Schnee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Genesis' White Rose Week Prompts for 2020!! [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>169</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>an ode to personal space</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>uh oh bro! less coherent story telling for the sake of making it more impactful???</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Neither of them are particularly good at physical touch. It’s not exactly a bad thing, per say, Weiss with her cold cold childhood and Ruby with her panicked panicked mind—but it <em>can</em> get in the way of things. </p>
<p>Weiss deems these things unimportant, because of course she does.</p>
<p>Ruby, on the other hand, thinks these things are Very Important—capitalized even in her mind.</p>
<p>Regardless, the both of them had become <em>interested</em> in what everyone else seemed comfortable doing.</p>
<p>“I think I would quite like a hug.” Weiss admits to Ruby quietly, “Though, not from just anyone.” She thought of her sister when she said this, of her brother and maybe even her mother and maybe even Ruby.</p>
<p>“I think I’m the same.” Ruby adds after a moment, thinking of her sister and her father and her uncle and maybe even her teammates which included Weiss. “Hugs are nice when you want them, but not so when you don’t.”</p>
<p>“A good point.” Weiss nods, as though she knew what she was talking about.</p>
<p>The conversation trails off, and suddenly Ruby is pointing at the campus chickens because she has no idea what else to do and Weiss follows along because she's equally clueless.</p>
<p>They didn’t talk about the thought that lingered there, the words that went unsaid:</p>
<p>
  <em> “Would it be alright—” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “—if maybe I dunno—” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “—I could—” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> “—we could—” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>“—hug each other?”</em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even though both of them are quite quick, the descent into intimacy starts slow. Both of them Are Not Good, not when it comes to this, at least.</p>
<p>Weiss had lived in a home where hugs were few and far between, lived in a large, cold manor. She had grown in a place where physical touch was a punishment more than anything else, where things like cuddling didn’t exist. Her sister had tried, of course, she had attempted to implement the hugs she’d received from their mother in her youth—but as time wore on Winter grew more and more like the home they lived in, stiff and cold and not keen on touch. There was Klein too, but he for all he tried he dared not risk his job, if only because he feared what might become of those children—(<em>trapped and afraid and angry</em>)—without him there to warm them.</p>
<p>Ruby had lived in a home where hugs were <em>everywhere.</em> There were always warm arms just around the corner, always a cape—(<em>colored white or rust</em>)—to burrow her way into. Even though there was always love right at her grasp, the concept of touch never came as easily to her as it did for her sister or father or uncle or even her—(mother.) She was nervous All The Time. There was never a reprieve, her anxious heart never quite soothed. (It seemed to worsen over time, spiking once dangerously when her mother went on a mission and <em>never returned</em>—)</p>
<p>The point was neither of them were particularly good at this, and both of them (though Weiss was adamant on hiding it and Ruby was sure that at least one or two of her favorite people knew) wanted so desperately to learn. </p>
<p>Which led them to:</p>
<p>“May I hold your hand?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“...Nothing, nevermind.”</p>
<p>(Weiss didn’t want to explain that she simply wanted to hold Ruby’s hand, that there was no logical or practical reason to do so. Weiss' hand had twitched forward, and the urge had overcome her. She had just. Wanted.)</p>
<p>(Ruby was sort of crushed, when Weiss pulled away. She didn’t know <em>why</em> exactly, but the way her partner turned in on herself was strange and wrong. Her hand twitched, and something in her stomach churned. She had just. Wanted.)</p>
<p>Neither of them knew what the other was thinking, so it goes without saying that they didn’t quite get anywhere that day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You guys are so fuckin’ weird.” Yang says in exasperation, sighing and crossing her arms. She blows a bit of blonde hair out of her face, and when it dances upward Ruby thinks that maybe it looks a kind of like fire. “It’s like sexual tension but <em>not</em>.”</p>
<p>That makes Ruby frown, because she was <em>sure</em> that what she and Weiss had wasn't... <em>that</em>. Not that it was a terrible idea, exactly, but more the fact that the idea of her looking at Weiss like that and then Weiss reciprocating that look made her feel... not uncomfortable, but very embarrassed.</p>
<p>“That's literally just tension.” Blake rolls her eyes, nose buried in a book that she wasn’t actually reading. She was always content to listen to Yang say stupid things (though often the things she had to say were not, in fact, stupid) not that she'd ever actually tell her that.</p>
<p>“There’s no <em>tension</em>!” Ruby says, because she’s a liar. "And anyway, I was just asking if it was normal if I were to... you know."</p>
<p>Yang and Blake exchange A Look.</p>
<p>"No." Blake sighs, "It's not normal for you to jab Weiss with a pencil twelve times in the cheek to get her attention, frankly, I'm surprised she let you get away with it."</p>
<p>"What?" Ruby says, nervous laughter escaping her mouth. "Who said I did <em>that</em>?"</p>
<p>"Uh, <em>you</em> did, when you came up to me and went—" Yang put her hands together, widening her eyes and making her voice high pitched. "—'oh gosh, Yang, do you think it's weird if I were to jab Weiss in the face with the end of my pencil twelve times? That's how friends get each other's attention right? Oh gosh, Yang! What if she didn't do anything except glare at me afterward, c'mon Yang I'm serious, is that weird? Yang—"</p>
<p>"Okay!" Ruby sputters, frantically trying to get her sister to shut up. "I get it, I get it, please <em>stop</em>—"</p>
<p>Yang sadly thinks that her sister is kind of stupid.</p>
<p>Blake fondly believes that her team leader is kind of dense.</p>
<p>(Different words to say the same thing.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You’re being really really weird.” Sun says, slumped into Neptune’s side and looking at Weiss with narrowed blue eyes. He examines her for a moment, before nodding resolutely. “Like, just give her a hug already dude.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Weiss asks, despite the fact that she knows exactly why Sun is recommending she give Ruby a hug.</p>
<p>“Because you like her.” Neptune says, slowly, as though she was a child. “And you want her to like you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Weiss says, because she’s a liar. “And why would I like an irresponsible dunce like her?” She doesn’t fail to notice the words come out softly, with more affection than distaste.</p>
<p>"Maybe because last week when she was really really tired you kicked everyone out of the common room just so she could take a nap on the couch?" Neptune asks.</p>
<p>"Or maybe because whenever you accidentally touch each other you trip over nothing?" Sun suggests.</p>
<p>"Or maybe—"</p>
<p>"That's quite enough!" Weiss hisses out, glaring fiercely at the both of them and trying to ignore the flushing in her cheeks. "Shut up you bunch of lazy degenerates, we have homework!"</p>
<p>"Correction, <em>we</em> have homework, <em>you</em> have extra credit work." Neptune rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>"Shut up!" Weiss grips her pencil in her hand so hard it almost cracks, her expression not once faltering in nastiness.</p>
<p>Sun and Neptune exchange exasperated looks.</p>
<p>"Well," Neptune begins, "We are in a library."</p>
<p>"Shut up, don't be a nerd." Sun replies immediately.</p>
<p>"If the two of you don't shut your mouths this <em>instant</em>—" She then makes a very colorful and detailed threat that the two of them both know that she will not hesitate to actually follow through on, prompting them to be silent and shoot each other sly looks she pretends not to notice. (It's their thing, Weiss makes genuine threats and the boys pretend to listen to her.)</p>
<p>Neptune fondly thinks that his friend is kind of a bitch.</p>
<p>Sun sadly believes that his pseudo-sister is kind of stubborn.</p>
<p>(Different words to say the same thing.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Do you suppose—” Weiss starts.</p>
<p>“Do I <em>suppose</em>?” Ruby interrupts.</p>
<p>Weiss stares at her for a moment, as though trying to decide whether or not to strangle her.</p>
<p>Ruby smiles, wide and innocent.</p>
<p>Strangling her becomes increasingly tempting, so Weiss looks away and decides not to ask what she wanted to.</p>
<p>It’s enough to give Ruby hives, almost.</p>
<p>(And so she decides that maybe bravery wouldn't go amiss, at that moment.)</p>
<p>“Can I hold your hand?” Ruby asks, and she doesn’t quite blurt it out because her voice is too soft for her to blurt it but it’s still surprising because she hadn’t quite meant to say it. Her face flushes and she feels something—(<em>burning, burning, burning</em>)—in her chest clench and for a moment she fears that Weiss will say something cruel because she’s <em>Weiss</em> and she isn’t like Ruby who defaults to kindness.</p>
<p>A beat passes.</p>
<p>And another.</p>
<p>And another.</p>
<p>
  <em>Until—</em>
</p>
<p>“Please do.” Weiss says, even though the temptation to ask Ruby <em>why</em> had been right there. It makes her ears run hot, the tentative lowering of the walls she keeps around her heart. She’s awkward, more awkward than Ruby at that point, jerking her hand out and steadily looking away—as though it might make her less weak if she wasn’t <em>looking</em>.</p>
<p>And Ruby,</p>
<p>(precious, and kind, and far too <em>anxious—</em>)</p>
<p>smiles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Weiss Schnee is a teenager. This isn’t exactly a new phenomenon, nor is it anything entirely surprising. She’s nineteen years old, she is a Teenager. A Teen. NineTeen.</p>
<p>A Teenager.</p>
<p>(Actually, she’s more like a wreck of ages—old and young and childish and mature and a <em>teenager</em> and <em>not—</em>)</p>
<p>Weiss Schnee was praised for not connecting with people her age, was praised for being the perfect little heiress, was praised for being smart and brilliant and <em>oh LOOK at her, can’t you be like her? Hey, hey look can’t you be proper? Can’t you be cordial? Can you lay down your torch for one INSTANT and just comply? Can’t you stop being a CHILD for one MOMENT and be like H E R?</em></p>
<p>(No.)</p>
<p>As a result, friendship does not exactly come easily.</p>
<p>But it does come, eventually.</p>
<p>Comes on a tidal wave of rose petals, gentle and wonderful and oh so soft. It stays with her, roses nestled in the spaces between her ribs, blooming in her muscle and wrapping stems and scraping thorns against her bones. (And even though it pricks her, even though it may bleed her dry of an emotion she didn't know existed she doesn't quite find herself minding.) It leads her, pushes at her from behind and tickles her cheeks and the back of her hands, it takes her to a place of wonder—full of burning wood and the smell of books and rain and the sun. It whispers, soft and sweet and far too kind for someone like her, it says <em>I am here, you are here, we are here—together.</em></p>
<p>She leads her, her first <em>friend</em>, leads her to more and more and more. It leads her to love and loss and wonder and family, it leads her to something she didn’t think possible.</p>
<p>(A life spent smiling.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ruby Rose is a teenager. This isn’t exactly a new phenomenon, nor is it anything entirely surprising. She’s seventeen years old, she is a Teenager. A Teen. SevenTeen.</p>
<p>A Teenager.</p>
<p>(Actually, she’s... different. Not <em>wrong</em> exactly, but not <em>right</em> either—like there is something pushing her too far and than not far <em>enough</em>—) </p>
<p>Ruby Rose is not good with people, herself included. There are times where she feels far too young, where that gap—(<em>two years</em>)—is more than she can handle on her own. There are times where her smile feels too childish, too <em>much</em>. But there are also times where she feels heart wrenchingly <em>old</em> and <em>oh WHY can’t you just say SOMETHING? Why can’t you just talk and smile and laugh RIGHT? Why do you have to be so W R O N G?</em></p>
<p>(I don’t know.)</p>
<p>As a result, friendship does not exactly come easily.</p>
<p>But it does come, eventually.</p>
<p>Comes in the feel of frost, the smell of freshly fallen snow. It comes with whiffs of mint and gentle—(<em>if a little cold</em>)—fingers wrapped around her wrist and pulling her back <em>down down down</em> to earth. It comes in too sharp teeth, comes in a too sharp smile—(<em>slanted and warm and good despite the wolves in her mouth</em>)—it comes and brings her back down to where she belongs. It comes in the gentle brushes of remnants of clouds and sky from her hair and says <em>come back down to earth, if not forever than for a little while, with me.</em></p>
<p>She leads her, her first <em>best friend</em>, leads her to more and more and more. It leads her to love and happiness and laughter and a steady heartbeat, it leads her to something she didn’t think possible.</p>
<p>(A life spent laughing.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Weiss?” Ruby asks, popping her head under her bunk so she could look at her partner.</p>
<p>“Yes?” Weiss responds, because there is no use pretending to be asleep. Ruby gets nightmares sometimes, Weiss knows, and with Blake and Yang gone on some super secret date they sucked at keeping a secret and she understands that she might be the last line of defense between Ruby and a restless night.</p>
<p>(She doesn’t know how to feel about that.)</p>
<p>“Would... Could I... Can...” Ruby stutters, starts her sentence before restarting because she thinks that she talks <em>wrong</em> and in the end can’t quite get out what she was trying to say.</p>
<p>Weiss, because it’s her turn to be brave, asks, “Would you like to hold my hand for a while?” She curses herself, because she thinks that maybe she should have asked instead <em>would YOU hold MY hand for a while</em> but she doesn’t because she’s stubborn and proud—</p>
<p>(and honestly, probably a little bit of a bitch)</p>
<p>—and that means she can’t <em>help</em> herself sometimes.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Ruby says, and thinks that Weiss is being kind—unaware of the turmoil inside of her partner who thinks that what she had just said was selfish. “Yes, please, I’d—I’d um, I’d like that very very much.”</p>
<p>And Weiss,</p>
<p>(difficult, and caring, and too sharp for her own <em>good</em>—)</p>
<p>smiles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“For fucks sake.” Yang says, genuinely considering slamming her head into the wall. </p>
<p>Weiss blinks once, and then twice, and then turns to look at Blake for help.</p>
<p>“Tension.” Blake says again, though Weiss didn’t know that this was the second time she was saying it and thinks it’s the first and is rightfully more than a little confused.</p>
<p>“I only asked a question.” Weiss murmurs, looking away. “Honestly.”</p>
<p>“Just fuckin’—” Yang cuts her self off, her eyes burning red and her hair flaming upward as she lets out a strangled groan and throws herself into the common room couch. “The two of you are fucking <em>impossible</em>, jesus.”</p>
<p>“Yang.” Blake sighs, ignoring Weiss’ slightly scandalized look. “Do you want to explain or should I?”</p>
<p>“I’ll try.” Yang whispers, her shoulders shaking because she was half enraged and half <em> dying </em> of laughter. “But if she asks another question that makes her sound like a robot experiencing emotions for the first time I will <em> actually </em>throw myself out the window.”</p>
<p><em>Fuck you,</em> Weiss thinks but doesn’t say.</p>
<p>Blake, as though she could read Weiss’ mind, snorts and doesn’t say anything else.</p>
<p>“You want hugs.” Yang says, flatly. “You want to wrap my sister in your bony, pale little arms and give her a hug, you want to hold her, you want to feel warmth—” Yang gags, just a little. “—fucking, you just want a goddamn <em>hug</em> you insecure little <em>robot.</em>" She covers her mouth with a hand, muffling her groan as she tries to calm herself down.</p>
<p>(It's Yang, so she fails.)</p>
<p>"<em>Fuck</em>!" She swears loudly, making Weiss flinch backward for a moment. Blake and Yang (because they are Blake and Yang) take notice. At once Yang's voice is softer, more playful. "Did you really have to take the whole ‘Ice Queen’ thing so serious?”</p>
<p>“Physical touch makes things different.” Weiss says quietly, shifting from one foot to another. “I care for your sister, truly, but it isn’t easy for me... caring.”</p>
<p>“It’s not as hard as before though, right?” Blake asks quietly, interrupting her thoughts. One of her ears twitches, and Weiss realizes that Blake’s actually <em>worried</em>. (Though of course, she doesn’t realize that she’s worried for <em>her</em> and not Ruby. Blake loves Ruby, <em>really</em>, she does—but she knows that Ruby's not good at these things.)</p>
<p>“I think so.” Weiss says and gestures to Yang, “But little miss pyromaniac here isn’t exactly making it easier to figure out.” </p>
<p>“Whatever, Ice Queen, you’re just mad jealous because I got pull.” Yang shoots her a cocky grin, winking.</p>
<p>“Fuck you.” Weiss says, out loud this time. She pauses, examining Yang’s face and deciding that maybe going a little farther wouldn’t hurt. “And fuck your stupid ‘power of hugs’ bullshit.”</p>
<p>Blake’s smooth laughter rings throughout the common room.</p>
<p>And it's almost worth the bitter taste on Weiss' tongue that comes with cussing so much.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Fuck.” Sun says softly but with feeling as Neptune lets out a deep sigh.</p>
<p>Ruby blinked for a moment, and opened her mouth as though to repeat it—before it falls closed as she considers herself.</p>
<p>“Do you think they know?” Neptune asks Sun morosely, he thinks it’s impossible for them <em>not</em> to know at this point but he’s been wrong before.</p>
<p>“Nah.” Sun says. “Weiss is too much of a bitch to think of anything but the fact that she's a bitch.” (He, of course, refers to her rampant self hatred. The fun kind, though. The type where Weiss could be vain and check herself out in the mirror all the while thinking <em>'wow i'm a terrible person.'</em>)</p>
<p>“<em>She’s not a</em>—!” Ruby can’t even say the word, too appalled at the thought. "She isn't that word!" She manages out.</p>
<p>(There, much better.)</p>
<p>“She is.” Neptune says, frowning for a moment. He wonders how Ruby could miss out on something like this, considering how obvious it was to everyone else “She thinks she is, she acts like she is, and so she <em>is</em>.”</p>
<p>(Let it be known that Ruby <em>does</em> indeed know that Weiss can be difficult sometimes, but that doesn't mean she enjoys calling her names, even in her head.)</p>
<p>“Not that it’s a super bad thing.” Sun murmurs after a moment. “I mean, bitchiness <em>is</em> an acquired taste—but it's still a taste.”</p>
<p>Neptune wrinkled his nose at the word ‘<em>acquired</em>’ and privately thought that Sun had been spending too much time with Weiss.</p>
<p>“Anyway.” Sun says, trying to think of a way to make Ruby go up to Weiss and finally <em>do</em> something. “I know you’re not a robot, little Rubes, so what gives?”</p>
<p>“I just don’t know how.” Ruby admits quietly. “I love Weiss, really, but she makes it so hard sometimes.”</p>
<p>“It’s easier though, now, right?” Sun asks after a moment, furrowing his brow and looking worried. (Though Ruby doesn’t realize he’s worried for <em>her</em> and not for Weiss. He loves Weiss, <em>really</em>, but she’s not great at these things.)</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Ruby says, knowing that it <em>is</em> actually getting easier. (She knows because she’s more emotionally aware than Weiss is, a fact that will come in handy in the coming years, though Ruby of course doesn't know that.) “It is, but I’m still...” She trails off, releasing a strangled sigh. “It’s like, I held her hand and knew that something had changed, and I don't know if I'm ready for that."</p>
<p>“Ah.” Neptune says, rubbing at his jawline, his lips pursed in thought. “You’re scared.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Ruby admits easily, and it almost throws Sun and Neptune off their rhythm because they were so used to Weiss and her burning, <em>burning</em> pride. “Yeah I am.”</p>
<p>“I get that.” Neptune says, because he does. </p>
<p>“I don’t.” Sun admits, a lie.</p>
<p>“That’s why you and Weiss get along.” Ruby and Neptune say at the same time. They grin at each other, and then say, “You’re both emotionally immature babies.” </p>
<p>Sun’s startled laughter gets them kicked out of the library.</p>
<p>And it's almost worth the skin itching anxiety that comes with drawing attention to herself.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ruby.” Weiss tries, because she swore to herself she would try.</p>
<p>“Weiss!” Ruby tries at the same time, because she wants to.</p>
<p>“Would it be alright—”</p>
<p>“—if maybe I dunno—”</p>
<p>“—I could—”</p>
<p>“—we could—”</p>
<p>
  <em>“—hug each other?”</em>
</p>
<p>They blink.</p>
<p>“Please.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>They do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Things change.</p>
<p>(Because that's what things do, they change, and nothing can really ever stop that—no matter how hard Weiss tries and how hard Ruby hopes.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Would it trouble you terribly?” Weiss asks quietly after a moment. “If I were to ask...” She trails off, glancing down at their joined hands and releasing a soft sigh. </p>
<p>Ruby watches, aware of her bouncing left knee and the soft feeling of the mattress beneath her. Weiss was trying to ask her for something more than before, something that she wanted. Ruby would let her, of course, but first she would grip Weiss’ hand a little tighter, would rub the pad of her thumb against the skin of Weiss’ palm.</p>
<p>First Ruby would hold her hand, then she would do what Weiss asked.</p>
<p>(But, she knew, she would do that only if Weiss ever got to asking.)</p>
<p>Weiss grips back, and breathes—a soft and gentle thing, like a soft brush of fall just before summer ends. She wants to ask Ruby to hold her, longer than before, wants to ask if it would be alright if they fell asleep like that—lethargic and curled up in each other.</p>
<p>She wants to ask.</p>
<p>(But she doesn’t quite know how.)</p>
<p>Ruby hears the sigh that comes out of Weiss' mouth, and stills when she realizes how utterly <em>wrecked</em> it comes out. If it was anybody else hearing it, they might assume that it was one of annoyance or mild inconvenience, but Ruby <em>knows</em>Weiss. They'd always been on another wavelength that only they would ever understand.</p>
<p>So she scoots a little closer, only enough for their knees to brush, but it’s enough for Weiss to let out a gasping breath. Weiss is touch starved, Ruby realizes, a bit too late to do much of anything about it except hold her hand.</p>
<p>(And of course she’d hold her hand, she’d hold it for as long she could, because she likes to, because she. Wants. And it’s as simple as that.)</p>
<p>Ruby realizes, right then, that they may both be slightly bad at this touching thing; but it's a different type of bad on each end.</p>
<p>Weiss is bad because her father is<span>—(<em>cruel cruel cruel cruel cruel</em>)—not good, and the idea that someone might want to touch her or she might want to touch someone just because it feels <em>nice</em> is utterly alien.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>Ruby is bad because she herself is—(<em>scared scared scared scared scared</em>)—anxious, and the idea of touching someone she isn't comfortable with is almost enough to make her lose her lunch.</span>
</p>
<p>“You don’t let anyone else touch you much.” Ruby whispers quietly. “But you let me?”</p>
<p>Weiss twitches, once, twice—and looks like she wants to pull away. Contrasting, her hand grips Ruby’s harder, like even though she can’t bear to be touched she can’t quite pull away—and it sends an odd shiver down Ruby’s spine. </p>
<p>“Yes.” Weiss murmurs, turning to face her—(<em>finally finally finally</em>)—and swallowing the lump in her throat. Her voice was raspy, pained almost, and Weiss felt for a moment as though she might fall apart with the weight of everything—the tremendous heaviness of Ruby’s hand on hers, shattering her like glass under barely there pressure. “I like it when you do it.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Ruby says quietly. “I like it when I do it too.”</p>
<p>It goes silent again, the only sounds Weiss’ gasping breath when Ruby tentatively lays her head on Weiss’ shoulder. </p>
<p>It isn’t what they want.</p>
<p>But it’s enough.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This is getting to be too much.” Yang murmurs, watching as Ruby and Weiss walk to class with their pinkies interlocked, Weiss acting as a shield for Ruby when people get too close. She watches her sister curl into Weiss all the while not touching any other part of her except where their fingers meant, watches Weiss copy and act as a barricade for her, and feels something similar to frustration surge up inside of her. Inwardly, she’s delighted that Weiss had noticed how Ruby got with other people around, shy and distant and anxious, but mostly she was just...</p>
<p>Tired.</p>
<p>“How do you think we feel?” Sun shoots back, “Neptune and I deal with Weiss more than you do!” He looks over to where his friends walk away from them, releasing a groan and trying to ignore the churning in his stomach. He can't stand it when Weiss suffers, and he knows she's suffering when it comes to this, touch. He knew Ruby was good for her and that he should let them figure it out on their own, he knew that to force a connection was to never make a connection at all<span>—</span>but he was just...</p>
<p>Fed up.</p>
<p>“It’s not just Weiss though.” Blake points out, her eyes glancing up at her friends before returning to the book that she wasn’t actually reading. “They’re both a little... well.” She doesn’t finish her sentence, and wonders for a moment if there was a solution to this problem that didn’t involve just <em>waiting</em> for something to happen. She didn’t find one, and that made her feel a little...</p>
<p>Weary.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Neptune agrees, rubbing his face tiredly. “Ruby’s pretty clueless, too.” He thinks that maybe they should leave them alone, but he can’t quite keep himself from wanting to <em>help</em> . It wasn’t his place, and he didn’t know <em>how</em> he could even prove to be any assistance, but he knew that he could hardly stand looking at his friends and thinking about how <em>slow</em> they seemed to be. He kind of wanted to force their faces together and shout, <em>the two of you like each other!</em> But mostly he just felt...</p>
<p>Exhausted.</p>
<p>(Different words to say the same thing.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In the end, they decided to make bets on how long it would take them to actually make a move.</p>
<p>Sun, thinking of Weiss, said another year or so.</p>
<p>Yang, thinking of Ruby, said about six months.</p>
<p>Neptune, thinking of both but not knowing them well enough, said about three months.</p>
<p>Blake, thinking of both and knowing them a little <em>too</em> well, said that she wouldn’t be giving an amount of time, and pointed out that they would only get together when Weiss asked for more than she thought she deserved and Ruby allowed herself to be given the same.</p>
<p>(In the end, Blake’s was probably more accurate, but that was only because Ruby and Weiss had told her so. On separate occasions of course, both girls would be absolutely mortified if they found out the other went to Blake for <em>advice</em> of all things.)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Can you sleep next to me?” Weiss asks.</p>
<p>“Huh?” Ruby responds, eloquent as always.</p>
<p>Weiss shut her eyes and swallowed her pride. “Can you sleep next to me?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Ruby says after considering it for a moment. She’s sure that her face is flushed pink. “I—I mean, that sounds... uh, nice.”</p>
<p>“It does.” Weiss agrees, “Which is why I asked.”</p>
<p>“Right.” Ruby murmurs, slipping from the top bunk and carefully settling into the bottom one. “Um.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to do now.” Weiss admits quietly, and if it wasn’t so dark Ruby would be able to see the sheepish blush on her face. “I had been building up the courage to ask for so long it didn’t occur to me that I’ve never done anything like this before.”</p>
<p>“Cuddling?” Ruby asks, aghast. </p>
<p>“If that’s how you want to put it.” Weiss agrees softly.</p>
<p>“We can start small.” Ruby suggests, turning on her side to face Weiss, extending her pinky. </p>
<p>“Alright.” Weiss says, and wraps her own around Ruby’s. “We’ll start small.”</p>
<p>Ruby flashed her a grin, and for a moment it was like her eyes and her teeth and the corners of her mouth were <em>glowing</em>. Weiss blinked, overcome by the realization that her partner was really really beautiful, and that even if she couldn’t physically see her she could feel her there—<em>feel</em> her face and her hands and her arms and her knees and—</p>
<p>She realizes something.</p>
<p>It's almost enough to give her hives but<span>—</span></p>
<p>“I don’t want to start small.” Weiss says, and wraps her arms around Ruby's middle, burying her face into her collarbones.</p>
<p>Ruby lets out a surprised squeak, but doesn’t pull away, melting into the embrace the same as Weiss.</p>
<p>Their knees knock together, right until they learn how to fit them together, and it’s the perfect night for finding warmth in another person with how cold the dorm was getting. </p>
<p>Ruby pressed her nose into Weiss’ hair, sighing soft and the scent and the feel of the softness brushing her face. It was nice, even though it was a little ticklish, and Ruby couldn’t help but feel enamored by the strange feeling that warmed her heart when Weiss was this close. Her mouth felt dry, and there for a moment it felt like there was a desperate squeezing around her chest—almost like pain but <em>not</em>. Her arms tightened around Weiss, her hands gripping the cloth of her partner’s nightgown so tightly it began to <em>hurt</em>.</p>
<p>Weiss’ chest was in a constant state of uncomfortable throbbing. There was a strange feeling in her stomach, and her blood felt like it was <em>boiling</em>. It was such a strange sensation, the heat—she couldn’t for the life of her know exactly <em>why</em> it seemed to run so hot, and even though she’d always been more comfortable in the cold she couldn’t find this feeling anything but nice. She released another shaky breath, pressing her face more firmly against Ruby and burrowing upward into the crook of her neck.</p>
<p><em>Strange</em>. Both girls think right before they fall asleep, entangled in one other.</p>
<p>In the end, they are still both bad at it—(Ruby wakes up with half her body hanging off the bed and Weiss wakes to her face still in the crook of Ruby's neck but also dangerously close to falling off of the bed and oops what do you know they're both on the floor while Yang takes pictures and Blake laughs)—but at least, they both find themselves thinking, they are bad at it together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>wow i really just too proper grammar out the back and put it out of it's misery, huh?</p>
<p>someone really needs to slap me in the face with some sort of rulebook smh</p></blockquote></div></div>
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